


Three Dances and a Story

by IntriguingScenes



Series: A Slice of Heaven in the Middle of Hell [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dancing, Fluff and Angst, Trevelyan Backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-17 09:08:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3523604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntriguingScenes/pseuds/IntriguingScenes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cara Trevelyan has a love/hate relationship with dancing. She finally trusts her friend Dorian enough to sneak off with him to practice before the Winter Palace, but this particular night is destined to lead to more than she had bargained for when their secret meeting becomes less than secret, and her friends find out more about their Inquisitor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction and I would love feedback on it. I took a little liberty with certain story points since this is before beginning a romance with Cullen (this is when they realize something's there), but after Cole becomes more human, which wouldn't work in that order in the game itself. Hope you like it!  
> Oh, and my Inquisitor's name is Cara and her backstory is based on the in-game description, but with some creative insertions. :)

Cara started down the stairs in front of Josephine's office, checking to make sure no one was following her. She had closed the outer door and hoped anyone who saw her would assume she was going to the war room, as she so often did despite the late hour. The visiting nobles who tended to congregate in the main hall had finally dissipated, thankfully. She was growing tired of their mix of nagging and awe when she passed. They meant well, but it was just one more thing to deal with.

At the bottom of the stairs she turned into a usually rather dark room, though this evening it was lit up more. There were two lines of pillars on the sides holding up a vaulted ceiling. A couple of dwarven statues (which she always thought looked out of place) guarded the room beside her and two paintings adorned each end. She had never quite figured out what this room was for; no one was ever in here. True the kitchen staff passed through here to get upstairs, but it always seemed odd that there was a room they never used with adornments that likely meant something at one time and a library with dusty books no one ever looked at.

She quickly pulled herself from her thoughts when Dorian stepped from behind a pillar, grinning as usual. It still surprised her that she and the Tevinter had become as close as they had in their time at Skyhold. She was often wary of mages since she had never had any real contact with them until leaving for the Conclave, but Dorian was different. She often forgot he was a mage and she almost always took him with her when she left Skyhold. In truth, he had quickly become one of the best friends she had ever had.

"I wasn't sure you were going to show up this evening," he remarked. They had been secretly meeting down here after everyone had gone to bed so he could teach her to dance. In a few weeks, she would have to attend a ball in Orlais and she had never danced like that. Perhaps she should have asked Vivienne, but she was more comfortable with Dorian. Dancing made her nervous enough as it was.

"Sorry. I was trying to wait for nobles to disperse. I'm still a little wary of being seen in a skirt like this with high-heeled shoes," she said referring to her clothes. She rarely wore heels like this, or a skirt for that matter, but she loved dancing in them. She just felt like, as Inquisitor, she should present herself in a more practical manner. Her heels weren't very tall and her skirt, while flowing, came down to about the middle of her calf, so it wasn't overly ostentatious, but still… She sighed heavily. "Sometimes I wish all these visiting nobles would mingle elsewhere. Anyway, what are we doing this evening?" She shook the thoughts of nobles from her head. In truth, she had learned to have fun with these lessons, though she was still nervous someone else would find out.

The next hour was swallowed up quickly by the two of them performing various dances together, some Tevinter, some Orlesian, though she rarely saw much difference between the two. The two musicians he had hired stood to the side out of the way and played music for them. Originally, they had tried it without music so there would only be the two of them. That ended in dismal failure, so Dorian had procured these two, a violinist and a man who kept a beat on an odd, handheld round drum. She wasn't sure exactly what Dorian had done, but he assured her they were sworn to secrecy on the matter. She suspected he paid them more than usual to ensure their silence.

"You give your dancing abilities far too little credit, you know," Dorian commented as he leaned on a pillar sipping a glass of wine. "No matter what I give you, slow, fast, complicated, you always pick it up quickly. And yet you insist you are a horrible dancer and need the practice before the Winter Palace." He watched her carefully over the brim of his glass. He had suspected something was not as it seemed quite some time ago.

"I suppose it's just nerves," she said after a moment, hoping that would convince him. She didn't want to admit that she secretly liked the distraction of dancing where no one could see. Dorian seemed to accept the answer, but she quickly realized he had something up his sleeve when he glanced at the drummer and the young man grinned.

"Well, then, I believe you are in need of a break from the constant training, practicing, and chaos of the Inquisition." She would have been a little concerned about what he was suggesting if she hadn't known he preferred men to women. "Right now, Cara Trevelyan, you are going to just have some fun."

She gave a slight, mirthless laugh. "I'm not sure the Inquisitor has time for fun, Dorian." I've already been letting these lessons go on too long, she thought.

"You're not the Inquisitor at the moment. Right now, you're just Cara, whose best friend has noticed she has been working too hard and needs a break. So, no steps this time. Nothing to keep right. So long as we don't injure ourselves during this dance, anything goes." He placed his glass on a table and nodded to their musicians. The drummer prepared his strange drum, holding it in one hand with a small wooden piece he hit on the drum's head in the other. The violinist raised her instrument. Clearly Dorian had not only planned this from the beginning, but even told them what to play. Part of her wanted to run, to cite work she needed to do, but at the same time, she wanted to stay. After all, they were alone.

Before she had a chance to decide, the music decided for her. It had a strong beat of percussion and lively notes from the violin. She recognized it instantly and for the first time in probably years she let her guard down. It was a dramatic feeling song that she had always enjoyed and as she and Dorian began to circle each other, right hands touching at shoulder height between them, she couldn't help but sing the words. They moved around each other in different versions for the first verse, but as they hit the chorus, Dorian stepped forward to catch her right hand in his with his left at her waist. She placed her hand on his shoulder and they started moving around the floor, her still singing the song.

The song wasn't overly long, but it only took her moments to start smiling, losing herself in the feeling of moving around a dance floor with a friend she trusted and not having to worry about anything else for a few minutes. They spun in circles, he spun her under his arm, they sped up and slowed down to meet the feeling of the song. By the time the song ended, she was smiling more earnestly than Dorian had ever seen. She was a kind person and often resorted to humor or sarcasm when she didn't know what to say, but he had never seen her smile light up her entire face like that.

"Alright, I admit it, that was fun, Dorian. Just don't breath a word of it to anyone." She pointed a finger to him in warning.

"Well, well, well," a new voice said from the door to the stairs. Cara froze in place and instantly felt her face turn blood red and fiery hot. "Who knew our beloved Inquisitor could dance like that? It's no wonder you're so good with those daggers of yours." Varric chuckled as he stood leaning on the first pillar in from the door.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Cara registered that he didn't mean any harm by it, but all she could do was hit one of the pillars and slide down it, absolutely mortified that someone had caught them. "Please, Varric," she breathed. "Don't say anything to anyone." With her elbows on her knees, she covered her face in her hands.

"Why not? That's the most fun thing I've seen in weeks!" Varric suddenly changed his tone. "Maker's breath, Cara, you're almost as red as you're hair. Are you alright?" He sounded genuinely concerned. As if having one of her close companions finding them in the basement wasn't bad enough, a new voice chimed in.

"Silly, impractical, childish. No place for it in the real world. Studies, seriousness, stern reminders…" Cole broke off suddenly.

"Hello, Cole," Cara practically groaned. She liked Cole, but she didn't need another person here, especially not the mind-reading spirit-turned-almost-human.

"What was that?" Varric questioned.

"Nothing," Cara sternly announced as she rose in an effort to shuffle everyone out of the hall. "Now don't you two say anything or I will have you both tossed out of the Inquisition!"

"Well, in fairness, you should probably know that it's not two of us," Varric confessed, suddenly looking a little bit worred.

"Dorian already knows what I'll do to him," Cara sighed.

"Not the one I meant," Varric countered. He waved at the door and in poured Sera, Iron Bull, Josephine, Blackwall, Cassandra, and Cullen, who trailed in last after Josephine grabbed his hand and pulled. Sera, Iron Bull, and Blackwall were beaming like they had been let in on the biggest secret in Skyhold. Josephine and Cassandra looked slightly more collected, but still amused. Cullen kept watching the floor as if ashamed. Cara stood in stunned silence, not sure what to say or do. All she could think was that she had probably just lost the respect of every single person in the room for dancing around like a fool.

"You used to like dancing." Cole had broken the uncomfortable silence. "Happy, peaceful, twirling, smiling, laughing." He looked confused. "Why don't you like it anymore?"

"It's not important, Cole. Can we just all forget this happened?" No one in the room budged. She could see it creeping up everyone's faces; they wanted to know what Cole was talking about.

"But it is. You feel foolish, frivolous, flustered, but you shouldn't." Realizing he wasn't going to let this go, she leaned back against her pillar and let out a long breath. She wasn't entirely sure how she even wanted to tell this story. She knew she was just staring at the floor between her and the crowd, but her mind was a long way away.

"I'm the youngest Trevelyan and as such, I was promised to the Chantry when it was clear there would be no more children after me. I think I was seven or eight. In our family, the youngest always goes to the Chantry. It kind of started as a tendency then eventually became a promise. I never really wanted to be a sister or anything, but I didn't try to fight it either. It was better than trying to figure out my own way when I had no idea what the world looked like beyond the pictures of a map." Cara paused, realizing how depressing the whole story sounded. She didn't want it to sound like it was a self-pity thing; it was just the facts, after all. "I wasn't permitted to have many friends. The ones I had I practically had to hide from the rest of my family. Almost all of them were household servants. I don't know why we bonded, but I would sneak down to the kitchens two or three times a week or out to a local tavern with some of them and we would dance. That's all we ever really did. It was a release, I guess. Their jobs were hard, I was being pushed in one direction so hard I didn't know what to do about it. But those nights were the best." She could feel herself smiling at the memories she hadn't thought of in years. "Those nights we would dance around in circles to all kinds of music. None of us had to worry about anything for a while. This went on for years. When I was sixteen, though, somehow my mother found out what I'd been doing. I still don't know how."

The room was completely silent. No one seemed to even be breathing. Cara talked quite a bit with all of them, but rarely divulged anything about herself. They all recognized this was an unheard of occasion. With a start, Cara yet again realized how she was sounding. Great story to break the trend with, she chastised herself. I don't want their pity. Look up. Stop staring at the floor. Own up to it! Forcing herself to look up and change her expression to one more calm and less forlorn, she continued.

"When mother found out, she had locks put on my windows and would come personally to lock my door every night so I couldn't sneak downstairs. She sat me down in the study and gave me a lesson in how the real world works. I believe you've already heard the short version of that," she said, looking over at Cole and smiling slightly. "She told me that it was time that I grew up, that I started taking my commitments seriously, and prepare for what lay ahead. She admitted that there was a place in certain circles for dances, but they were something I would never be involved in as a Sister. I couldn't stand that I had disappointed my family as much as I had over something so simple, so I stopped. I didn't visit my friends anymore, I studied everything I could get my hands on, and I waited until the Chantry came for me." She smiled in spite of herself. "The one small act of rebellion I held onto was my daggers. Being locked in your room gives you a lot of time to try things and I hid a pair of daggers under my bed. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I always had a feeling that one day I would need them. Turns out I was right!"

She knew she was trying in vain to laugh at the situation, to turn it into something else even though it probably wouldn't work. But she had to do something! She still had a slight smile on her lips, though she knew it didn't look sincere, but no one else was smiling. Clearing her throat and giving up the charade of humor, she finished with, "Anyway, if you get told often enough that something is a ridiculous waste of time, after a while you start to believe it."

Looking around the room, every eye was on her. She saw surprise from Varric, Bull and Sera, sorrow from Dorian, Cole, and Josephine, respect from Blackwall and Cassandra (though she wasn't sure what for), and something she couldn't quite place from Cullen. Sorrow? Respect? Understanding? All of that and more?

"That's why you were at the Conclave," murmured Cullen. Cara nodded.

"With all the uncertainty, they came for me late. They didn't press the issue until I turned 26 last year. I could have gone earlier, but I always found just one more excuse to never go." She swallowed hard as she thought she saw a bit of admiration flit across his face. "So there you have it, the oh-so-wonderful story of my childhood which caused embarrassment this evening." She took a deep breath, cleared her head of all the stories, and tried to resume her usual composure. This time her smile at least didn't feel forced. "Now can we all just go back to doing something other than gawking at me?"

She took a couple of steps forward, confident this whole, awkward affair was over with when Cole stepped in front of her. He just stood there, looking her in the eye for a moment under his large-brimmed hat. She could almost see wheels turning in his head. Just before his icy blue eyes became uncomfortable he spoke.

"Will you dance with me?" Cara felt her eyes go wide in surprise. She felt certain he would have never even thought of it until Varric had helped him find his human side a month ago. She could feel everyone watching. "I've never danced with someone before," he continued, "and it always made you so happy. Will you dance with me like you did with the serving boy?"

She hadn't said anything about Tomlin, one of the servants in their house that she had danced regularly with. She shouldn't have been surprised that Cole would pick up on him, but she was. "Cole, Tomlin and I spent a lot of time doing that. If you've never even done the basics before…" She trailed off, hoping he understood. What he was asking was something that not many people could do with practice. He heard a couple of people whispering trying to figure out what they were missing in half an unspoken conversation.

"But I can keep up!" Cole insisted. "I've seen it." Cara debated for a moment. She sincerely doubted Cole's ability to just suddenly be able to dance, but she also wasn't sure she wanted to embarrass herself further. Then she recalled Cole's words earlier: but you shouldn't. It was a simple phrase, but maybe it was time to let her guard down around people she trusted. And she literally trusted these people with her life…

"Alright, Cole." She smiled brightly as his face lit up. "We can try. I've already humiliated myself this evening; I might as well keep going." Their audience debated whether to stay or go, but decided to stay, most agreeing that they simply had to witness this. Running her fingers through her long red hair, Cara asked the musicians if they knew a particular song, one that seemed to be more common in taverns than in high society. When they nodded, each grinning at the opportunity to tackle a difficult song, she turned to Cole. "Are you sure, Cole? This is really fast." He simply nodded.

The violinist started on a long couple of notes as Cara put Cole's hands where they needed to be. "Just focus on me, okay? Keep this hand at my waist and the other in the my hand."

"Unless I need to let go. You always let go of Tomlin." They started moving slowly at first. The song would pick up in a moment, but it was a good time to get used to one another.

"Yes, but we don't have to. If you can't keep up, just let me know." He nodded and the music picked up in earnest. The style of dancing she always did with Tomlin was very fast and involved a lot of, well, bouncing was the only way she could think to describe it. Side to side, around in circles, it took a lot of concentration.

The song she chose changed its pace a couple times throughout, giving them a wide variety of things to try. She quickly found out that this was going to be more exciting than she thought. Cole was indeed keeping up with her easily. He was even able to figure out when they separated and came back together, when to turn and when to slow down. She was completely lost in the movements in moments. She had intended to keep it simple, but the longer they moved, the more complicated they got. He would spin her under his arm and out, then pull her back in like a veteran. It was incredible! Faintly she heard people clapping and laughing, only to realize she was laughing herself! When the music hit its final note, he had her standing on one foot, leaning back over his arm, something she had never been able to do even with Tomlin. He helped her back on her feet and everyone began cheering. Her face reddened from the attention, but it was a feeling she hadn't experienced since the kitchens and taverns of her youth.

"What do you think, Cole?" She asked when she caught her breath. He was smiling wider than she knew he could and his eyes were sparkling.

"So that's dancing…" Everyone couldn't help but laugh. Cole was such a help around Skyhold and he saw things no one could imagine, but sometimes his manner was little more than a child, causing most to treat him like the little brother they never had.

"That's one version," Cara stressed. She would hate to see him suddenly try that with someone who couldn't see the move before it was done. Turning her attention to the rest of the crowd she said, "Alright. Had enough now? We should probably all be doing something else."

"Now hang on, Inquisitor," came Varric's rough voice. "I think we would all like to see just one more dance." Cara raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"Are you asking, Master Tethras?" She couldn't keep the amusement out of her voice.

"Uh, not quite. Dwarves don't dance, at least not with humans. You know, height difference and all." He paused as everyone laughed. "No, I think we would all like to see Curly loosen up a little bit." Every eye turned to look at the stunned Commander of the Inquisition.

"Me?" Cullen questioned. When Varric and several others nodded, he cleared his throat, saying, "I'm sorry, I don't dance. Templars had little use for the art."

"Ah, you're not getting out of it that easily, Curly," Varric laughed.

"So you can say you don't dance, but I can't?" questioned Cullen. Varric immediately affirmed that, leaving the Commander running around trying to find something to use to stop this line of thinking.

Cullen hadn't willingly been drawn into this nonsense to begin with. He had just been on his way to the war room when he saw a group of people peeking through the door at the bottom of the stairs. Naturally he was curious. Watching Cara dance with Dorian had been fascinating. He had never seen her smile like that, or move like that. He had kept telling himself to leave, that it wasn't polite, but he just couldn't stop watching. He had always admired the Inquisitor from a distance, but this had made that feeling more pronounced. Her story had deeply saddened him, more from how matter-of-fact she was about it than what she said. She took this to heart and believed the world really was like that. No wonder she had a cynical streak sometimes. When she danced with Cole, he couldn't help but notice once more how…alive she seemed. How she seemed to know exactly what to do. Now here Varric was trying to get him to dance with her. There was no way she would have that same look in her eye with him. But something deep down wanted her to look at him that way.

Cara let the argument between Varric and Cullen go for a couple of minutes, with a few other people chiming in as well. It was rather amusing, after all. She hadn't noticed how adorable the Commander was when he was flustered…

"Alright, Varric," Cara stepped in, "if the Commander doesn't want to dance, that's his choice. We should all be getting to bed anyway." Varric rolled his eyes at her and started to argue. Cara often acted like a bit of a mother hen to her friends and this was going to be one of those times they needed it. "No, Varric. Come on, all of you." She spread her arms like rounding up chicks and started herding them out of the room.

Cullen's relief and disappointment over Cara's intervention were vying for dominance as she herded her friends to the door. He couldn't decide which he wanted to win. Varric turned and gave him a rather pointed look, and a nod to the Inquisitor. Then he heard Cassandra mutter something about "everyone knew but them." Dorian was half pleading him with his eyes, glancing to Cara and back to Cullen.

"Alright!" he said, slightly louder than he'd meant to. Everyone stopped and looked at him. He hadn't realized Cara was right in front of him. When he met her brilliant green gaze, he suddenly had no idea what to say. He was certain she hadn't seen those coaxing gestures out of everyone else. "I—uh—I mean, if you want…" She suddenly smiled at him in a way she never had before.

"You want to dance with me?" she questioned. She couldn't help feeling a little tingly at the thought. Nervous and excited all at the same time. She also noticed that he wasn't wearing his usual armor, either. Rather he was clad in a shirt and jacket undone at the top with tan breeches and dark brown boots. She silently laughed a little at the fact that, even out of armor, his clothes were still very similar in color.

He suddenly looked extremely nervous and looked down and started rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. He was a take-charge kind of man, which she greatly respected, but she had noticed that, when he didn't know exactly what to say or do, he would repeat that gesture. So she grabbed his hand and walked backward, leading him to a clear spot in the room. Of course, everyone piled back into the room to watch. Though there seemed to be more than one mischievous grin in the crowd…

She hadn't even thought to say anything to the musicians. Someone must have, though, because they started playing a slow, melodic song that the drummer even sang to. It was beautiful, though Cara didn't recognize the tune. Cullen seemed to, though, and pulled her into a basic waltz around the room.

"I can't do all that…whatever that was you did with Cole," he said as they began moving. She laughed.

"In fairness, he could only do it because he saw it in my head!" Cullen smiled a beautiful smile. She always found herself drawn into a dance, no matter what the dance, but this was different. For some reason, holding his hand, his other hand on her waist, his eyes the color of fall leaves…She didn't just lose herself in the dance; she lost herself in him.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want, you know." She didn't really want him to agree, but felt he should know that anyway.

"I don't think Varric will let me off the hook that easily," he sighed.

"You're the Commander of the Inquisitions forces and I'm the Inquisitor! I think I can make him stop if he becomes a bother!" She smiled at him and laughed, a laugh which he returned.

"We give you the power over the world and you use it to silence one dwarf who talks too much! You are a wonder, Cara." They were still smiling, but they both ignored what had just come out of his mouth. It was quite a compliment, not to mention he had never used her name in front of their friends before.

As they moved around the room, it seemed like Cullen quickened their pace a bit. Clearly he was capable of dancing, even if he didn't do it often. When the music's tempo suddenly picked up, he gave her this crooked grin that accentuated the scar on his lip (which she faintly noticed was far more attractive than it should be) and began to spin her around more. They both just lost sight of their surroundings for each other, moving more intricately, spinning around one another, holding hands and moving toward and away from each other. It was breathtaking. The last position he pulled her into as the music was winding down had them facing opposite ways beside one another with each of their left hands on the right side of the other's waist, slowly spinning. Automatically Cara placed her free hand on Cullen's, and he did the same. The only thing she really noticed was the intensity with which he was watching her, an intensity she suspected she was returning.

They stopped moving when the music stopped, but didn't break away from their hold. Neither of them wanted the moment to be over yet, though they wouldn't admit it. The rest of the room was silent, though Cara and Cullen had forgotten about their audience. Behind them were several mouths hanging open, Dorian almost cheering them on. Silently, of course. Cassandra stood behind everyone, trying to hide her seemingly knowing grin from her comrades. Sera and Bull nudged each other a bit. They all knew exactly what they were witnessing.

"I thought you couldn't dance," Cara almost whispered, still not moving.

"I said didn't. Not couldn't. Two sisters, remember?" Cullen smiled slightly. "I've been known to make the occasional exception."

"You should do it more often."

The sudden crash of a glass brought them both back to their surroundings, and restored their usual personalities. Dorian had tried to set his wine glass on a table and missed. Cara thought it looked like he missed because he was watching them with such a fascinated expression, she didn't even know how to describe it. She immediately started blushing when she realized they were all looking at them like that. Cullen cleared his throat nervously beside her, stepping away to a more appropriate distance.

"Happy now, Varric?" he asked the troublemaker. Varric looked a little dumbfounded, even though he had suggested the entire thing.

"My dear Commander, I lack the words to express how glad I am to have been here to see that." Varric even added a bow. Cassandra barked a laugh.

"You? Lack the words?" Varric just glared at her.

"So," Cara jumped in, "let's all call it a night, shall we?" Everyone nodded in agreement and Cara walked over to the two musicians, pulling two sovereigns out of the pocket of her skirt. A bit excessive, perhaps, but she gave them each one of them anyway. "This is for staying later, through all of this. And please, keep it all quiet will you?" They nodded and thanked her profusely as they gathered their things and left through the kitchen.

Cara turned to find herself alone. She hated that she felt almost saddened by the fact; she would have at least liked to thank Cullen. With a sigh she checked to be sure they hadn't left a mess in the unused hall, then turned to leave. Dorian had left his wine bottle and she picked it up as she headed up the stairs. She nearly returned it to him, but knowing the bottle was nothing special decided to just take it with her to her quarters. After this evening, she could use a drink.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't originally intended to do another chapter for this story, but then I got an idea and the rest is history. I'm not certain exactly how I feel about it, but here it is anyway: some (I think) kind of cute and mildly awkward fluff. :)

            Cullen closed the large door to the War Room, leaned his back against it, and allowed his head to fall back with a soft thump.  With closed eyes he let out a long breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding.  Thankfully the room was empty.

            “I’m in trouble,” he murmured to himself.  The Inquisitor’s friends had just convinced him to dance with her in the room below the Main Hall, which was almost embarrassing enough.  But he had enjoyed it.  He enjoyed the feel of her in his arms, the smile she gave him, the feeling that he could stare into her green eyes forever…  He shook his head and moved to the table, trying in vain to focus his thoughts on work instead of on Cara.

            The moonlight streaming through the windows was very nearly enough to easily read by, so Cullen scooped one of the papers off the table and leaned against the window.  It wasn’t the odd lighting that caused him to continually lose his focus on the page, though.  He had admitted that the Inquisitor was attractive from the moment they met on the battlefield, but her personality had really gotten his attention over the past few months.  When she had been lost after Haven fell, he had refused to give up on her.  That was when he realized how much having her around had meant to him, but it was only in the last couple of weeks that he had realized just how much space in his head she truly occupied.  He hadn’t given it much consideration, though, assuming she wouldn’t reciprocate the feeling.  He was content in the knowledge that she was just here and they were friends.  This had changed that, though.  At least, he thought it did.  When she had danced with Cole, she looked so exuberant and she was focused solely on him.  Watching them, Cullen had found himself wanting her to look at him that way.  And she had.  It made his breath catch in his throat thinking back on her expression.  He hadn’t wanted to let her go at the end of the song, but what really threw him was that she hadn’t moved either.  It was an indication to him that not only did he care about Cara more than he thought, but that maybe, just maybe, she felt the same way. 

            He chastised himself over and over as he stood there.  She was the Inquisitor and they were in the middle of a war!  He kept thinking that it wasn’t possible and that he shouldn’t be thinking of her like that, but it was to no avail; he just couldn’t shake his feelings.  Admitting it was difficult, but there was no other way to look at it: Cullen cared about Cara quite a bit more than he should.  The best he was able to do as he stood there was decide not to say anything unless she did.  He wasn’t going to make this awkward.  Deep down, though, he knew he wanted her to say something.  He desperately wanted an excuse to hold her again, to pull her even closer, to press his lips to hers.  Cullen didn’t think he had been standing there for very long when he heard footsteps outside the door, which opened soon after, shaking him from his wild imaginings.

            Cara stepped through the doorway, leaving it open behind her, while muttering something under her breath that Cullen didn’t completely catch.  He was pretty sure he heard “idiotic” and “stupid” along with a curse or two.  She set a wine bottle on the table and started looking around for something, seemingly oblivious to his presence.  He wasn’t sure if he should say something or not. She picked up a stack of papers and began leafing through them using the bit of light streaming in through the door.

            “Read that.  Read that.  Don’t remember that one.  Oof, not that one again.  Did I see this one?  Probably should take it anyway.”  Cullen had noticed early on that Cara tended to think out loud when she thought she was alone, a sure sign in this case that she didn’t realize he was there.  “Reports and a pilfered bottle of wine.  What a lovely way to spend the night.”  She looked at the top report and grimaced, then turned to her bottle and grimaced again.  “On second thought, I should go get some tea.  I’m probably going to need it.”  Gathering the reports she was going to take with her and the bottle, she turned to go.  She only made it a couple of steps before stopping dead in her tracks with a small gasp.  Slowly she turned to see Cullen in his spot by the window and he sheepishly met her gaze.

            “Andraste’s ass, Cullen!  You could have said something!” He thanked the relative darkness when he felt his cheeks heat.

            “I’m sorry, Inquisitor.  You were focused on the reports and I didn’t want to startle you.”  A lame excuse, but true.

            “So you stand in the corner like some creepy person?  Great plan!”  There was her usual sarcasm.

            “I _am_ sorry.  That wasn’t my intention.”  Cara sighed and hung her head. 

            “It’s alright.  It’s just been…an odd evening.”  When she looked back up to him, it felt like her gaze on him was more intense, though the lighting didn’t permit him to see it. 

            “I suppose it has been.”  Now it was his turn to look down.

            “Not every night you get to spill half your life story to your friends,” she scoffed.  “I, um, I’m sorry you got caught up in that, by the way.  I mean, it was fun, it’s just…  Well, they shouldn’t have pressured you, is all.”  Cara bit her lip, a habit when she felt awkward.  Cullen was quite surprised that she was apologizing for the incident, and couldn’t help but think _I’m not sorry_.

            “It’s quite alright,” he found himself saying as he stepped closer to the table in an effort to reassure her.  “I should apologize for being there in the first place.”  He hadn’t meant to get involved, after all.  He could just make out her smile.

            “Don’t worry about it.  Skyhold is a big place, but we do all live together; it was bound to happen eventually.  Besides, the whole thing was strangely…cathartic.”  Cullen wasn’t entirely certain how to respond to her, so they stood in an awkward silence for a moment before Cara cleared her throat nervously and said, “Anyway, I should get to these reports. Goodnight, Cullen.”  She turned to go and Cullen spoke to her back.

            “Oh, Inquisitor?  If you were grimacing at the report I think you were, you’ll definitely want tea rather than wine.  To call it dull would be an understatement.”  She waved over her shoulder and smiled at him when she turned to close the door.

            “Thanks for the warning!”  Then she was gone, leaving Cullen in the dark once again with his thoughts.  He nearly jumped out of his skin when the door opened again and Cara leaned through the gap.

            “You know, you don’t have to work in here this evening if you don’t want to.  I’ll be working on these reports for quite a while and I do have a rather comfortable couch if you’d like to join me.  I can easily get tea for both of us, if you’d like.”  She was inviting him to her quarters?  He suddenly noticed she was biting her lip again and it appeared as though she was looking at the table rather than him.  Cullen struggled a bit with what to say.  He wanted to, but he wasn’t certain it would be appropriate.  Then again, it was only working in the same room and they essentially did that every day.  He waited just a moment too long to decide, though.  “Um, if you’d prefer to work alone half in the dark, that’s fine.  It, uh, it was just a thought.  I’ll just…”  She started to slip out the door again.

            “Inquisitor!  I didn’t mean to imply…”  _Hang it_ , he thought.  “That sounds much more pleasant than standing over this table for several more hours today.  Just let me get what I’ll need.”  He smiled at her and she smiled tentatively back.

            “Trust me, it’ll be much better.  We really should put some seats in here…  Anyway, I have a kettle and tea in my room, so I’ll get us some water and cups.”  This time she darted out the door, leaving it open behind her. 

            Cullen couldn’t help but smile.  He felt like he shouldn’t go and he shouldn’t be encouraging this, but it was just work and it _was_ more comfortable.  Plus it was good to know she wasn’t avoiding him after what happened downstairs.  Perhaps this was a mistake, but it never occurred to him to change his mind as he gathered the papers he needed.  He still wouldn’t say anything to her, but he would enjoy even working together in silence with Cara. 

* * *

 

            “So here we are in the middle of the Emerald Graves.  This stupid giant has fallen directly on top of Dorian.  If he hadn’t been shouting at us to get him out of there, I would have been worried.  Anyway, we finally manage to extricate him and he just stands there in front of me, covered in grass stains and blood looking for all the world like he had just been the victim of the most terrible prank ever.  He looks me square in the eye and all he says is, ‘Did I ever tell you how much I detest giants?’ and walks away with his shoulders slumped and trying in vain to get some of the mess off of him.”  Cara and Cullen had been upstairs in her quarters for at least an hour, though she had completely lost track of time.  They had gotten some work done, but it hadn’t taken long for them to start breaking the silence more frequently.  Now they were on her balcony regaling each other with amusing anecdotes.  It happened to be Cara’s turn, and Cullen was listening with an amused smile on his face.  “Of course we followed him, intending to go back to camp.  Fighting a giant is exhausting, after all.  But we only went maybe twenty feet when we felt the ground shake and another giant is approaching us!  I don’t know why that area is so infested with giants, but they were everywhere!  We all just kind of looked at each other, but Dorian...  Dorian stood there, a few feet in front of me, and absolutely glared at me to the point that I honestly think if we hadn’t made a break for it, he might have helped that giant throw boulders at us!”  Cullen laughed out loud at the story, causing Cara to smile even wider; she loved the sound of his laughter.

            “That really shouldn’t be that funny!”

            “I know, I know.  But the look on his face was hysterical, and the fact that I always feel like I shouldn’t be laughing makes it even funnier for some reason.  He would probably threaten me with lightning if he knew I told you about that.”

            “I’ll never tell,” he said with a wide smile. 

           Cara looked out over the mountains, occasionally sneaking a peak at her companion.  For once, he didn’t seem to be on edge.  She had surprised even herself when she invited him to work with her, but now that they were here, she couldn’t be more pleased, even if the actual work hadn’t lasted for very long.  He was a very attractive man, but when he let his guard down, he could also be funny, kind, and perceptive.  Cara realized with a start that she could get used to his company a little too easily.  In fact, she was already considering asking him to join her tomorrow.  They continued to observe the mountains standing at a respectful distance from each other, but she found herself wanting to be a little closer.  She had to force herself to maintain a proper distance.  While looking up at the moon, though, she put her hand down on the bannister only to meet his fingers rather than the cold stone.  It was surprising, but not nearly as surprising as the fact that he didn’t move.  She didn’t want him to, either.  Normally he wore thick leather gloves, but tonight he didn’t and she relished the brief moment of contact.  It was almost electrifying and she wanted nothing more than to lace her fingers into his.  She didn’t dare look up at him, fearing he would move.  What she couldn’t see was the surprised look he shot her that quickly morphed into a smile.  When she shivered a little from the cold, he suggested they return inside.  Cullen sat back down on the couch, which was in front of the fireplace, while Cara poured them both another cup of tea.  After carefully considering it, she chose to sit on the couch with him, leaving some space between them, with one leg curled under her.  She didn’t want to let this moment, whatever it was, slip by.

           “This has been remarkably enjoyable,” she ventured.  She watched out of the corner of her eye as his hand grasped his tea cup slightly harder.

           “It has.  We see all of your reports from the field, but they rarely have space for the more entertaining side of things.  For that matter, I suppose working for the Inquisition in general rarely leaves space for more entertaining things.” 

           “Do you usually work this late?”  If she was going to ask, she should do it while she still had the courage.

           “Most of the time, yes.  There’s always something to be done, it seems.”

           “I know the feeling.”  Cara paused, trying not to think about what she was getting at.  It wasn’t like it was an inappropriate request, but boldness had never been her strong suit.  “I usually work well into the night also.  Perhaps, if you’d like, we could work together more often in the evenings.  I mean, it is more comfortable up here, at least when you would be in the War Room.  I suppose it wouldn’t make sense to walk all the way over here from your tower…”  It all kind of came out in a rush and she refused to look in his direction, though she did see him quickly look to her.  She hadn’t meant to start rambling, but she couldn’t calm her nerves enough to stop it in time.

           “I would be grateful of the company, if you’re certain.”  Cara’s heart felt like it skipped a beat and she suddenly felt like a young girl again with a crush, but she looked at him with a smile that she couldn’t keep from spreading.  She felt even more giddy when she realized he wore a smile as well.  “I should probably take my leave for tonight, though.”  Placing his cup on a table, he stood and gathered his papers. “Goodnight.  Cara.”

           “Goodnight, Cullen.”  She suppressed another small grin at the use of her name.  It was far from the first time he had used it, but she really enjoyed that he had used it without her prompting him.  It was more intimate.

           Cullen started down the stairs to her door, leaving Cara in the suddenly-too-big room looking after him.  Looking into her fireplace, she tried to sort out her feelings.  She felt like a giddy young girl, but she was also terrified she had done something wrong.  It didn’t seem like it; she just didn’t want to mess this up.  Dancing with Cullen earlier that evening had forced her to realize how much she cared about him and spending time with him like this had strengthened it.  With a sigh, she forced herself up from the couch to at least attempt to read a few more reports.  She glanced to the stairs where he had disappeared before she sat at her desk, ran her hand through her loose hair, and bit her lip again.

           “I’m in big trouble,” she murmured as she leaned back into the seat, resigned to the fact that she cared about the Inquisition’s Commander far more than she probably should.  And though it scared her, she was quite alright with the realization.


End file.
